He has, indeed, done it very well; but it is a foolish thing well done.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Last night I got stuck in the elevator at my offices. there were three of my coworkers and two old guys from the 7th floor trapped with me..
as if that wasn't enough.. the floor announcement mechanism was malfunctioning so every minute an annoying female voice would say "floor seven" followed immediately by "floor two". I took this as a bad sign as we were stuck on seven and the elevator hadn't moved anywhere near floor two. Then the two old guys started talking about their grandchildren. ARRRRRRRRRRRGH.
So I see a button that says "press for emergency". I figure that this definitely qualifies. So I press..
I hear what sounds like a phone ringing coming from a small speaker above the floor buttons.
"Hello?" "Yes. We are stuck in an elevator at *gives address*" "Hello?" "Yes. We are stuck in an elevator at *gives address*" "Hello?" "WE ARE STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "I'm hanging up now" "NO YOU COCKSUCKER!!!!!!!!" *click* fuck only our side didn't hang up. So after about a minute that ear shattering "EH EH EH" sound a phone makes when it is off the hook starts blaring through the elevator
"Floor seven" "Floor two" "EH EH EH EH EH" "Here's a picture of my granddaughter. she plays soccer and loves math" "Floor seven" "Floor two" "EH EH EH EH EH"
meanwhile my coworkers are quiet and despondent. I think they were considering who to eat first.
"Floor seven" "Floor two" "EH EH EH EH EH" "Here's a picture of MY granddaughter. It was her birthday last week" "Floor seven" "Floor two" "EH EH EH EH EH"
That was about all I could take.. I dial 911 from my cell phone "hello? what's you emergency?" "we are stuck in elevator at one fif FLOOR TWO" "what was that address" "we are at one fif FLOOR SEVEN" "was that 7th ave?" "NO it was one fif "EH EH EH" after a few more attempts the dispatcher gets our address.. "ok police have been dispatched"
after about forty five minutes the doors open with a *ping* "Floor two" we are on floor seven. the door of the elevator stays open the elevator next to it opens "Floor seven" We all look at the functioning elevator. Tempting us. Inviting us in. Without saying a word we exit through the door to the stairs and trudge down seven flights. We thank the cops and the elevator mechanic they brought with them.
As I leave the building for the night freed from my prison I reach in my pocket for my ipod. Only to find i left it at my desk on the 12th floor.